who are you?

so, instead of working on my paper, i feel the urge to vent a bit in the blog space. as you might have read, the old place was pretty quick and kind to separate me from their privileged system. first i should clarify it’s not a university that cut me. anyhow, they are known to be HIGHLY inefficient at the tax payers’ expense. As an example, this was a frustrating conversation i had with their tech support 3 days before the cut-off was official:

-hi, i’d like to forward my email to my new school address
–what computer are you using? mac or pc?
-pc, linux
–what do you use to read email?
-thunderbird
–can’t you just forward your own mail?
-no, i was told by you guys i can’t do it unless i’m using internet explorer and outlook
–technically we don’t support this kind of request
-oh, i know you do, you’ve done it for me once before
–oh? ok, let me see if i can find someone to help you…. ok, i’m filling out a request for you, “user request mail moved to outlook”
-NO! i’d like to have my email forwarded to my new address!
-(angry) are you using outlook??
–This has nothing to do with outlook or thunderbird, it’s mail forwarding!
-(after some time) ok, now request says “user would like mail forwarding on thunderbird”
–NO! please enter in request: “user wants mail forwarding from aaa@bbb to xxx@yyy!!
-ok, here’s your ticket number. BYE!

Then nothing happened until 2 days after i got cut off that they called: “we just call to inform you we don’t forward mail that had been cut off already.” thanks. i already know that.  that’s why i called you before my account got disconnected!

Anyhow, so 2 days before i left, after that incredibly annoying separating email arrived in the mailbox, i ran up and down and around trying to sort out what was needed to reverse the damn process. from high to low ranking people, everyone reassured me: oh, we’ve filled out forms X, Y, Z, AA, BB, etc. Just check in with us next week, we believe everything will be fine. you’re a privileged US citizen after all.

Still totally unable to access anything, i called in today. person X (really nice person in the department): “ah, the process went though fine, follow steps (1)-(5), you should be able to log in as usual. if you have difficulty, just call alpha-beta for help.” Step (1): nope. calling alpha-beta

-how can I help you?
–hi, i have recently transitioned from being on-location to remote-access. but my account seems not enabled. can you re-enable it?
-sure. what’s your id number? (gave).
hmm, what’s your name? (gave).
hmm, what’s your username? (gave)
and you said you were here just 9 days ago? hmm… can i put you on hold…
(several minutes later) hmm, i can’t find you anywhere
–WHAT?
-sorry, we don’t know why. it shouldn’t have happened. which group were you in? what’s the head guy?
–A
-ok, you need to call A to have them call B to reactivate your account.

calling A

-oh, hi, how has your move been?
–ah thanks, it’s going ok. except (some explanation)…, they told me to tell you to call B
-i think you need to talk first to X
–yes, it was X who told me to call alpha-beta who told me to call you, and now back to X?
-ok, let me check.. will let you know…

20 email exchanges later:
Y: hi, i’ve re-started the entire process to get you back. here are forms C, D, E, F to complete.
X: (i leave you to read the modified email below, see if you understand)

the recently implemented process for eta-chi-squared is not in synch with the gamma-sigma-omega system. Unfortunately we  started the damn separation process without your approval, then changed your separation date. somehow it’s assumed your id should be retained for future visits and that your frantic re-access request should sail through. It was thought that the gamma-sigma-omega system request aborted the separation process, but it did not, and your release into space by the mother ship was achieved on 02-Feb-2011. It is not clear why we cant seem to get you back with the approval and completion of the gamma-sigma-omega request. So in the interest of time, the whole search request process will now restart in hope to find you.

For such a highly incompetent system, I have to say i’m just absolutely in awe how efficient they are at wiping out people. anyhow, sit tight, i might be able to reaccess my computer by next year.

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About thả diều
writing-challenged opera-addict

5 Responses to who are you?

  1. Kristy says:

    Ha! I’ve got a solution….Send them your resume, and get them to re-hire you remotely, give you the same email account you had before, and then quit – see if it works the second time ’round… >:)

    Like

    • thả diều says:

      hey Kristy! isn’t it a wonderful feeling knowing how your tax money is so wisely spent? after these episodes, not sure if i ever motivated to even come near them… except they have my data!! grrrr . i was told in the corporate world, there are situations where you’re given only 1 hr notice to leave and not allowed to take anything with you. this comes pretty close.

      Like

  2. Anik LaChev says:

    this is insane.

    On the bright side, you could always turn these experiences into a Kafka-esque short story or a script for Marx Brothers movie…

    I hope they will manage to re-establish everything before 2012!

    Like

    • thả diều says:

      if i know how to write fiction Anik, this would have been a good story already :-). i’m still quite amazed how they treated people there. and i was a privileged US citizen. I’ve heard the situation is much much worse when you’re branded as a “foreign national”. many of my colleagues have been dealing with this, so now when i complain to them, they just tell me: welcome to our world!

      Like

  3. idlehouse says:

    you know, any __________ with a hammer can destroy things, of course they can completely wipe you out. In fact, they didn’t mean to wipe you out, they were just doing their job.

    Like

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